Seminars - even better at 09:00 in the morning!Gazza by the coppers at Klasterni, Praha.The one and only Jimmy Hill!Magus from the Cask in Sheffield.Handpumps ready and waiting to dispense winners.When the Beer House used to do mini-festivals...A cask of, hopefully, a huge winner.The scooper's trusty sidekick, the Head Bag.  Until they went crap in the 90's.The view from behind the glass!My looooords!! Get into that seminar!


Last Updated : 20/04/10

ather round, Comrades, there's a bloke stood on a wooden box and he's getting it all off his chest.  Ooooh, hang on a minute, he can't say that, can he?

Oh yes he can!  (and he just did - twice!)  

This page is open to all.  If you want to sound off about anything then send me the article and I'll put it on - subject to it not being "libellous" - we all know about that, don't we?  So, to please the lawyer-type scum, let me say that all opinions published on Scoopergen PLC are those of the individual contributors (even though we basically agree with them to put them on here) so stand back and listen to the man on the box ........

(The archive stuff has now been split off and is available here).


  The Latest Soapbox Rant : Tuesday 20th April 2010 


Cask conditioning versus Social conditioning.


I've touched on this subject before and feel it needs more of an airing and perhaps more of a detailed research project than I have either the time or inclination to complete, but since when did I let lack of research get in the way of an excuse for a tirade against something I feel strongly about?  Never, that’s when…

Social conditioning is everywhere nowadays; the TV tells you what to like, aspire to and copy, posters and the media reinforce lazy stereotypes, our peers subconsciously enthuse us to “belong”... it's a tough job being a bloody-minded naysayer these days!  We're bombarded by messages telling us what we should be and strive to be although, if you look beyond the shiny-shiny veneer, it's a murky and filthy message underneath paid for by big business and a state keen to keep it's drones in line and content to work hard knowing there's always more that they can desire from their shallow lives.

Obviously, in any agenda bankrolled by capitalist big business, there is an undertow keen to persuade us to part with money for something which we never knew we wanted or even knew existed until it was thrust down our eager throats as if we were consenting foie gras geese.  Similarly, the state's agenda is to keep us working hard because, if we'd only work that bit harder in our own time towards their nebulous just-out-of reach ideal world, we might – one day – just about be able to afford that new car the adverts tell us we need in order to get laid or appear socially acceptable.

Hmmm, okay, maybe it's me being a contrary bastard but I don't see anything remotely appealing in working my nads off all my useful life in order to own supposedly lifestyle-enhancing goods whilst doing nothing that I want to do, and I don't just mean “getting pissed” or “getting laid”; that sounds a particularly vacuous and tedious lifestyle to me.  I also don't see any mention of craft beer, real ale – whatever you want to call it – in these diktats from the state and business because the alcohol delivery systems being pushed are those in the ownership of those who make the lifestyle adverts themselves; AmBev, Heineken, Diageo, Carlsberg... you name 'em, they're trying to get us to buy their industrially-made crap.

Well, they can all fuck off.  If being a craft beer drinker means I'm not conforming to some paid-for-by-big-business arbitrary ideal of what a real man should be, do, own and wear then I'm very happy with that; I don't want to drink the shit they tell me to, I want to drink properly brewed, unpasteurised beer full of flavour, goodness and character and really don't give a toss if that means I'm seen by the 99.999% of mindless drones in society as some weirdo or social inadequate; I don't care if I don't fit their template image of the laddish cog in society they wish to slot me into and I certainly don't want to be told what to think or do by a crowd of slimy ad-men and corporate twats in suits in a “brainstorming session”.

Bollocks to the lot of them; drink what you want to drink, think what you want to think, resist their capitalist treadmill of disposable shiny-shiny tat.  Ignore what other people think of you and just do what you want with your life as, after all, you've only got one and mine's not for sale to any multinational company no matter how much they advertise their junk on TV or try and persuade me that it's normal in aspiring to be some vacuous, money-obsessed drone with more gadgets and possessions than IQ.

Now, where's that soapbox I’ve not been using for a while?



All previous rants are now available here to enable this page to load faster and upload quicker - revisit some of the old rants and be educated in the ways of the grumpy old men!

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