ather round, Comrades, there's a bloke stood on a wooden box and he's getting it all off his chest.  Ooooh, hang on a minute, he can't say that, can he?

Oh yes he can!  (and he just did - twice!)  

This page is open to all.  If you want to sound off about anything then send me the article and I'll put it on - subject to it not being "libellous" - we all know about that, don't we?  So, to please the lawyer-type scum, let me say that all opinions published on Scoopergen PLC are those of the individual contributors (even though we basically agree with them to put them on here) so stand back and listen to the man on the box ........

(The archive stuff has now been split off and is available here).

  The Latest Soapbox Rant : Sunday 10th February 2008 

"Great" beers reviewed on the Internet - by Gazza.

The other day I was researching the slim possibility of a brewpub and/or scooping bar in Oporto, Portugal, as we're off there in a few weeks mainly for the port but principally because it's an excellent place (not the beer this time!) but, instead of finding anything useful, all I kept coming across were discussion forums where travellers had posted that I should "get a slab of great beer like Super Bock". 

Oh, where to start... many things crossed my mind whilst reading such gibberish, but the main thing that dawned on me was that most people haven't got a clue what good beer is; there's a world of difference between liking a beer and said beer being any good, as I'm sure you all realise!  Let's start with the basics here; Super Bock is an industrial lager which I'm pretty sure isn't 100% malt and I'm also rather convinced doesn't use a lot of noble hops (or any real hops?) in it's production - note I didn't say brewing there - which makes it a pretty long shot for contender of beer of the year in anyone's book who knows about beer.

I know this is generalising a touch but the world's great beers are usually made with 100% malt (or at least 100% grain, although I know a few aren't) plus a healthy dose of traditional (i.e. whole cone) hops and generally nothing else (okay, I know, kriek and framboise contain fruit, but I'm generalising here...) so therefore a beer made with a large dose of adjuncts such as sugar and starch and probably hop extracts and then lagered for a short length of time isn't exactly going to rock the world of most people who know what good beer actually is.

This may sound patronising and elitist, but it's as true in wine, beer or just about any other product you care to mention - make it with traditional ingredients, in a traditional manner, with no shortcuts, cheapening or quickening and - perhaps most importantly - let someone who knows what they're doing make it, and you'll get the best results.  I know Super Bock and it's ilk aren't trying to be the best Pilsener clone in the world but that doesn't stop ill-informed people saying it's "great beer".  Yes, they may like it and yes, it may slake a thirst on a hot day in Oporto, but it's not great beer in the essence of being brewed by artisans in a traditional manner.  It may fulfill it's role in the world admirably but that doesn't make it a good beer.

There's a world of difference, as I said, from knowing you like something and knowing what you like is a quality product.  Most people in these low expectation times don't even know what quality looks or tastes like, but thankfully some people still do - that's why I'll always bang on about people who say something is "great" when what they really mean is they simply like it; a personal opinion isn't fact it's just a personal opinion, no matter how often you repeat it.

All previous rants are now available here to enable this page to load faster and upload quicker - revisit some of the old rants and be educated in the ways of the grumpy old men!